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If You Want Your Man To Listen—Don’t Hit Him Where It Hurts

How To Fight Your Man

I’ve always struggled with when to confront my previous boyfriends about things that bothered me or when to just leave well enough alone. Though most would say I’m not much of a “daily” nagger, I’ve also been notorious for turning into a pit bull when I feel I’ve been crossed by my man. So, how do you choose which things to argue about? And yes, I said argue.  None of us are under the delusion that arguments don’t exist in relationships—even healthy ones.  You don’t have to cut him, but you will disagree. And if the topic of disagreement is a passionate one, you will doggone argue.

Keep your empty threats to yourself. While you keeping crying wolf, one day he might just bite and leave YOU.

There isn’t a single person who can tell you all the things you should fight about or leave alone. All of our standards and desires vary based on our upbringing, social influences, religious or cultural beliefs or just our personalities in general. So, even though no one can really tell you what’s important or unimportant to you, there is a definitive WAY to get your point across. And ladies, that WAY does not include 1. Emasculating your man 2. Threatening to leave him 3. Constant screaming, yelling and cursing.

Emasculating Your Man

“Why don’t you just act like a man.” “You need to grow up, you act like a child.” “I need a real man.” Any of these phrases sound familiar?  It probably does to most of you, because at one point or another we’ve used them in heated arguments with our man.  In the past, I’ve used these handy phrases when I was on the way out of a relationship—not when I was trying to keep it.  So, if you have any plans in maintaining your current relationships, making your man feel like an idiot is NOT the way to go. This is where your girls come into play. Use them as filters for your mouth and your anger. But don’t bring it home.

Threatening to Leave Him

I’m really good at violating this one, but in my defense, 99% of the time they weren’t threats. I’m still learning not to run at the first sign of trouble in a relationship.  If you want a commitment from your man, I would hope that you’d show him some commitment too. And if you’re constantly threatening to leave him or find someone who will treat you better— then, either 1. Go and find someone else or 2. Keep your empty threats to yourself. While you keeping crying wolf, one day he might just bite and leave YOU.

Constant Screaming, Yelling and Cursing

The operative word here is CONSTANT. There will be times when your temper will get the best of you and you end up losing your cool. But it shouldn’t be an everyday occurrence and especially toward someone you love. If the only way you can express your feelings is by going completely demon on your man, then you need to check yourself and your attitude. No one likes to be yelled at, and they’re most likely not listening to a single word you’re saying. When someone yells or curses at me, I automatically turn off my “sensitivity and understanding” and I go into fight mode as well.

I know most of us want to demand our respect, maintain our standards— we don’t want anyone thinking that they’re taking advantage of us. But there is a way of doing that without coming across aggressive.  Strength is not always loud and obvious. What do you think? How do you disagree with your partner?

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