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When Dreamin’ Becomes A Nightmare – By Sharron Todd

Here at MrsGrapevine.com, we want to bring you more than just celebrity gossip to enhance your reading experience, and give you a chance to express your opinions on things that matter to you. I would like to introduce you to Sharron Todd, our new feature writer. Every week she will share relationship advice and discuss important topics regarding women and dating. So enjoy!


How Making An Unrealistic List for the Man of Your Dreams Stops You From Actually Finding Him

He’s gotta be black. Tall, or at least taller than me.  He’s gotta have a high paying job.  He’s gotta have a 4 year degree.  He’s gotta make me a priority 99% of the time.  He has to like my family.  He has to believe in God in exactly the same way I do.  He’s gotta be physically strong.  He has to be a certain age. He has to be fine.  He has to be liked by everyone.  He has to dress well. He has to be a lil’ hood, but also sensitive at the same time. He has to love the things that I love.

Let me know when you find one man who meets ALL of these expectations.  And when you DON’T, let’s start talking the real talk.  The first thing you need to do is take your favorite lipstick and cross out 50% of your “list” and then you’ve just come up with a more realistic idea of what the love of your life should look like.
With all the music, movies, urban legends and the looking on everyone else’s plate, I get why women have this delusion of what a “real man” should be.  But ladies, women, girls…we will continue to fly solo if we don’t change our perspective.

Prince Charming died on the way to the real world.  He doesn’t exist.

Being realistic doesn’t mean lowering your expectations. It means adjusting it. Being realistic means understanding that when a man and a woman choose each other, they are two completely individual human beings with varied tastes, likes and dislikes, beliefs, visions, desires and physicality.  If you’re looking for someone who will meet every desire that you have, date YOURSELF.  Otherwise, let’s join the rest of our happily dating and married friends.

When I talk to my single friends about why they’re single, most of them say that they’re afraid of “settling” for less than they deserve.  So, the ultimate question becomes, “What Do You Deserve?” I can answer that for you. You deserve loyalty. Someone responsible (but not without error).  Fidelity. Acceptance. Honesty. You deserve for someone to tell you when you’re wrong.  Above all, you deserve someone who will walk shoulder to shoulder with you, hand in hand, through all the curve balls that life throws at you.

When your skin starts to sag, your stretch marks become more visible, you’re less pretty, gain weight, get too skinny, lose your job, experience death with family or friends, on your menstrual cycle, no longer get your menstrual cycle, have depression, lose confidence, become irrelevant to the world….if the man sitting in front of you can look you in the eyes and say he’s still in love with you…you’ve just hit the jackpot.

Want to read more on this subject click here for another perspective by Candy Diaries.

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